WELL FUCK

Great now a section of the us government wants me dead, I met some agent named fisk, Called him agent fist then said something about hes MR.fisted or the fistonator and how  he loves to do strip searches.  Now i'm at war again. Oh well I Should be fine.

I met some new hero of the galaxy  zeke strahm, was his name after we drank 5 gallons of blood and whiskey we impregnated half of Mongolia. We also fought slenderman armed only with tooth picks he fled in terror or are amazingly awesome toothpicks made of gold infused with Jesus tears

I'm have fought a evil dragon of doom made of communism and free heath care. 

FUCK YOU PIZZA HUT

Well I ordered a pizza from toughs pinko commie bastards at pizza hut, and I open up the pizza and boom whats it covered in, some weird pink and blue shit that sparkled. So of course I didn't eat it I drove down to the orphanage and made them eat it. Should have figured there was something wrong since the delivery dude was dead on my lawn, and the guy giving me the pizza was to well dressed to be working there oh well.

I'v decalred war on lybia

I played tic tac toe with gaddafi, he lost and yelled at me.He owes me $20 for that game so now i'm pissed me and periwinkle will be slaying some mother fuckers soon.

President. Stalking horse

I have been elected the leaser of malta now to raise my army to fight slendy.

I JUST SOLVED GLOBAL WARMING

I ate 5 gum cobalt then breathed.......boom ice caps fixed.