SO PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS REDLIGHT FUCKER A LOT, WELL TRUE STORY FOLKS HE HAS AIDS...GET GOT IT FROM LADY GAGA. YES REDLIGHT HAD SEX WITH LADY GAGA GUESS WHO ELSE DID, I DID AND I CURED THE AIDS BECAUSE I'M FUCKING MAGIC LIKE THOU'S MAGNET THINGS. SO YEAH BOOGATY BO BOOM HEAD SHOT APPLES INSIDE AN ELEPHANT SIZED PIRUS WHILE ON FIRE SHOOTING BABY RACOONS THAT HAVE RABBIES THAT CAUSED YOUR PENIS TO EXPLODE AND IF YOUR A FEMALE YOU WILL GROW ONE AND IT WILL EXPLODE.....BTW YESTERDAY WAS THE DAY OF ALL DA BLOOUD SO YOUR IN SPACE AND GUESS WHAT YOUR DEAD...FUCKING DEALS WITH IT yo.

FUCKING MAGNETS HOW DO THEY WORK

FUCKING MAGNETS HOW DO THEY WORK ILL TELL YOU HOW, THE NORTH POLE HAPPENED WHEN I FUCKED AN ATOM IN HALF, AND THE SOUTH POLE WAS WHEN I FUCKED AN ATOM IN THE ASS.............................OH AND THE EQUATOR IS WHEN I KICKED SLENDERMAN IN THE FACE. THE SCIENTIFIC THEORY IS A LIE IT SHOULD BE MY DICK PLUS ANYTHING EQUALS MIRACLES, CURE THE BLIND HEAL THE SICK FUCK YEAH MY PENIS IS JESUS I CALL IT MINI JESUS!!!!!!

SO LIKE THESE PEOPLE WHO DELIVER PEOPLE SHIT FROM LIKE ELEPHANTS AND KIOTIES WITH HEPITITES CAME AND GAVE ME A MISSLE FROM HITLER AND I WAS ALL LIKE "WHOO NO WAY"  AND THEY WERE LIKE MONEYS PLEASE. SO THEN I TOLD THEM TO GO TO EASTER ISLAND AND  HAD THE EASTER BUNNY TRY TO KILL THEM. SAD FULLY IT DIDN'T WORK BUT THATS FINE CAUSE THEY WERE NICE AND LEFT A RETURN TO SENDER ON IT AND I BLEW UP IRAN OOOOOOOPS WELL I GUESS  I SHOULD REPOPULATE IRAN. TIME TO TURN SOME BURKA'S WHITE.

I Found the Rake

REALLY THERE WAS A BIG ABOUT THIS THING! REALLY IT TOOK PERIWINKLE 2 STOPS TO DEFEAT THIS THING..........FUCKING PUSSY RAKE BITCH!

So I found some bone is was berried next to this building made of like red bricks of some sort I dunno. But then slendy showed up in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts stoned out of his mind going, "MHHUAAM BONE ADEVAFSD DUDE MUAHNSA MINE RARARAR" so I thought my best coarse of action would be to blow up the damned building and beat slendy to  near death with the bone. Then some dogs got a hold of it some shit went down, now I'm using the thing as a toothpick. I wonder if this thing is important at all, meh.

I JUST SMOKED 30LBS OF GRASS....NOT DRUGS ACTUAL GRASS THEN I FLEW TO SPAIN FOUND ATLANTIS AND REPOPULATED IT WITH MIRMADES

WELL FUCK

Great now a section of the us government wants me dead, I met some agent named fisk, Called him agent fist then said something about hes MR.fisted or the fistonator and how  he loves to do strip searches.  Now i'm at war again. Oh well I Should be fine.

I met some new hero of the galaxy  zeke strahm, was his name after we drank 5 gallons of blood and whiskey we impregnated half of Mongolia. We also fought slenderman armed only with tooth picks he fled in terror or are amazingly awesome toothpicks made of gold infused with Jesus tears

I'm have fought a evil dragon of doom made of communism and free heath care. 

FUCK YOU PIZZA HUT

Well I ordered a pizza from toughs pinko commie bastards at pizza hut, and I open up the pizza and boom whats it covered in, some weird pink and blue shit that sparkled. So of course I didn't eat it I drove down to the orphanage and made them eat it. Should have figured there was something wrong since the delivery dude was dead on my lawn, and the guy giving me the pizza was to well dressed to be working there oh well.

I'v decalred war on lybia

I played tic tac toe with gaddafi, he lost and yelled at me.He owes me $20 for that game so now i'm pissed me and periwinkle will be slaying some mother fuckers soon.

President. Stalking horse

I have been elected the leaser of malta now to raise my army to fight slendy.

I JUST SOLVED GLOBAL WARMING

I ate 5 gum cobalt then breathed.......boom ice caps fixed.

periwinkle killed  a beaver today, that is all.

I just fought 5million proxys with a toothbrush.....and won

MY HISTORY

I come from a humble place, my parents were nothing special one was Theodore Roosevelt and the other Helen Keller. But I was  separated by my family and raised by bear/wolf/kangaroos.Think bear man pig but real And had a Jamaican accent. I was the real savior of man kind, Hitler didn't commit suicide I looked at him. Saddam that was me on a slow day, but my most proud moment was of course when I breaded periwinkle. Periwinkle is the love child of seabiscuit and shadowfax as he is the most amazing horse to come into the world.

The Earth population officially reached 20 trillion today, FUCK THE FACTS I know I have at least 20billion children. They were all created  not only because woman fall at my feet, like something else that falls. But because I am razing them to be my army in the struggle against the slenderman. His days of murder and tentacle rape are over as STALKING HORSE IS HERE

 

MY GIRL FRIEND BEFORE WE MADE LIFE ENDING SEX, WE DIDN'T ROCK THE BOAT WE ROCKED  THE EARTH, SORRY JAPAN

of course this is apart of my plan to kill da SLENDERMAN, are earth shattering sex is my way of telling him, I'M COMING FOR YOU

DOOM TO EVIL

My name is Jay McJessicalex I am a simple horse jockey by day, but at night I am STALKING HORSE!

As I ride into battle impregnating hundreds and fighting off demons with my trust steed periwinkle, armed with my USA 16/50 (40.6) Mark 7 sub machine gun.

I remember I fight for AMERICA,APPLE PIE,BASEBALL, AND OF COURSE FREEDOM!!!

ARE ONLY HOPE TO KILL THE SLENDERMAN IS ME