I JUST SMOKED 30LBS OF GRASS....NOT DRUGS ACTUAL GRASS THEN I FLEW TO SPAIN FOUND ATLANTIS AND REPOPULATED IT WITH MIRMADES

WELL FUCK

Great now a section of the us government wants me dead, I met some agent named fisk, Called him agent fist then said something about hes MR.fisted or the fistonator and how  he loves to do strip searches.  Now i'm at war again. Oh well I Should be fine.

I met some new hero of the galaxy  zeke strahm, was his name after we drank 5 gallons of blood and whiskey we impregnated half of Mongolia. We also fought slenderman armed only with tooth picks he fled in terror or are amazingly awesome toothpicks made of gold infused with Jesus tears

I'm have fought a evil dragon of doom made of communism and free heath care. 

FUCK YOU PIZZA HUT

Well I ordered a pizza from toughs pinko commie bastards at pizza hut, and I open up the pizza and boom whats it covered in, some weird pink and blue shit that sparkled. So of course I didn't eat it I drove down to the orphanage and made them eat it. Should have figured there was something wrong since the delivery dude was dead on my lawn, and the guy giving me the pizza was to well dressed to be working there oh well.

I'v decalred war on lybia

I played tic tac toe with gaddafi, he lost and yelled at me.He owes me $20 for that game so now i'm pissed me and periwinkle will be slaying some mother fuckers soon.

President. Stalking horse

I have been elected the leaser of malta now to raise my army to fight slendy.

I JUST SOLVED GLOBAL WARMING

I ate 5 gum cobalt then breathed.......boom ice caps fixed.

periwinkle killed  a beaver today, that is all.

I just fought 5million proxys with a toothbrush.....and won

MY HISTORY

I come from a humble place, my parents were nothing special one was Theodore Roosevelt and the other Helen Keller. But I was  separated by my family and raised by bear/wolf/kangaroos.Think bear man pig but real And had a Jamaican accent. I was the real savior of man kind, Hitler didn't commit suicide I looked at him. Saddam that was me on a slow day, but my most proud moment was of course when I breaded periwinkle. Periwinkle is the love child of seabiscuit and shadowfax as he is the most amazing horse to come into the world.

The Earth population officially reached 20 trillion today, FUCK THE FACTS I know I have at least 20billion children. They were all created  not only because woman fall at my feet, like something else that falls. But because I am razing them to be my army in the struggle against the slenderman. His days of murder and tentacle rape are over as STALKING HORSE IS HERE

 

MY GIRL FRIEND BEFORE WE MADE LIFE ENDING SEX, WE DIDN'T ROCK THE BOAT WE ROCKED  THE EARTH, SORRY JAPAN

of course this is apart of my plan to kill da SLENDERMAN, are earth shattering sex is my way of telling him, I'M COMING FOR YOU

DOOM TO EVIL

My name is Jay McJessicalex I am a simple horse jockey by day, but at night I am STALKING HORSE!

As I ride into battle impregnating hundreds and fighting off demons with my trust steed periwinkle, armed with my USA 16/50 (40.6) Mark 7 sub machine gun.

I remember I fight for AMERICA,APPLE PIE,BASEBALL, AND OF COURSE FREEDOM!!!

ARE ONLY HOPE TO KILL THE SLENDERMAN IS ME